What Your “Vintage” 2000’s Band T Shirt Says About You

by lizriggs

Piano man

1. Brand New

Oh man. Have another drink and drive yourself home.  You got this t-shirt in 2004, a year after Deja Entendu was released, and approximately thirty seconds after you saw Jesse Lacey on Fuse.  You probably used to have gauged ears and your pallor is still recovering from the year you holed up in your parents basement writing an emotional poetry book for your high school girlfriend.  You’re still a little skinny these days and really dig the newest Manchester Orchestra album.

2. The Format

Your shirt probably has a rainbow on it, or some other sun-shiney color that reflects the melodies you love so much. You hate the band fun. just about as much as you love telling people you hate the band fun..  You’re not really that into music anymore, but you were “really hipster” when you were in college.  The last show you went to was when your girlfriend “dragged you” to go see The Fray, which you secretly enjoyed.

3. Bright Eyes

You’ve been crying in your bedroom for the last 8 years since you bought this t-shirt.  You think that Conor Oberst is the Messiah, and anyone who tells you that Jake Bugg is an amazing lyricist gets slapped in the face.  You’re into painting dreary pictures and trying to decide whether your feelings are justified or completely justified

4.*NSYNC

You found this shirt in a drawer two years ago when you were visiting your parents’ house and decided it’d be hilarious to wear some of your little sister’s clothes.  You’re pretty into lifting weights and were a bona fide frat star in college, and this shirt shows your hilarious sense of humor and your total respect for Justin Timberlake.

5. Coldplay

You were a douche when you bought this shirt and you’re still a douche now. (But also, “Til Kingdom Come” is such a great song, dontchathink?)

6. Counting Crows

You’ve always had strong music taste with no shame for your guilty pleasures.  You recently moved to the Pacific Northwest and on Saturdays you can be found slacklining barefoot in someone’s backyard sipping on some beer we’ve never heard of.

7. Dave Matthews Band

In high school, you either played lots of sports/smoked lots of weed/got lots of blow jobs and/or all of the above.  Now, you’re a little burnt out and working a totally boring job but making more money than most of your peers. You still follow DMB as much as possible, but you only bring this shirt out for bedtime. There’s also a chance you’re a bigger douche than the Coldplay guy.

8. Death Cab For Cutie

You were the renaissance man in high school who had just enough feelings to be considered sensitive but was hot enough to get by with it.  You probably bought the shirt after hearing Seth Cohen talk about Death Cab on The O.C., but to anyone who asks: you’ve never seen the show.  You maybe do something either artistic or philanthropic, like work for a non profit, teach in the inner city, or write for Thought Catalog.

9. Guster

You bought this shirt with the left over money you had after your DMB purchase, but you wear it with much more pride.  You smoke occasionally and work two or three jobs for shit money. You don’t care though; you’re happy.

10. Modest Mouse

You were light years ahead of your peers in terms of musical taste progression, and you know Modest Mouse is still great. You’re probably a freelance photographer who won battle of the bands a few times in high school with your mediocre emo band.  You’ve moved to Brooklyn and mostly listen to The National and a slew of Daytrotter artists no one’s ever heard of.

11. Rooney

Lolz. We can’t.

12.Taking Back Sunday

You’re still mad, and it’s usually at anyone who starts raving about Brand New.  You enjoy hanging out at sports bars and talking to girls who are dumber than you.

13. Something Corporate

The shirt you own is probably idiotic looking, but you’re not afraid to wear it out and about. You have no problem doing whatever it is you feel like doing, and you secretly still follow Andrew McMahon’s career but only talk about it with your cousins. You pursue your actual dream job after you get home from the office every day, and you’ve been trying to learn “Konstantine” on piano every summer since 2002.

14. Dashboard Confessional

You have the most feelings, and you’re still trying to learn how to play an acoustic guitar so you can pretend you don’t know these songs when girls at parties start talking about how they love musicians. You probably listen to a lot of folk music now and are into keeping in shape by doing things like racquetball, parcour, or, like, rock climbing.

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